I am a boring individual.
I posted this in my personal blog, but since no one reads that, and I don't care enough about it to update it regularly, I thought I'd post it here. It's a time-killer at least. Enjoy:John sat under the turnpike, just waiting on the 12:15 to Omaha. Of course, he wasn't aware that it was 7:45 or he would have realized that sitting there was pointless, and that's aside from the fact that no bus came within 10 miles of his location, but still he sat, as if he was aware of something that escaped the notice of all those around him. There he sat, as patient as a chicken in a movie theatre, whatever that means.
John was a man of about 45-years-old with a bushy beard, oily black hair, and a questionable odor. He was skinny, probably about 130 pounds on his 6'3" frame. It was sad indeed. Every day, he proudly donned his Slayer t-shirt, despite the fact that it had badly faded from its once magnificent black into a charcoal grey, it had no less than 15 holes in it, all of which were no smaller than the diameter of a nickel, and Slayer, although never worth a damn anyway, hadn't even been popular in 20 years.
Most people just let John sit there, in quiet reflection, without talking to him or bothering him, more so for their feelings of personal safety and hygiene than respect for his contemplation, but that's beside the point. One day, however, a man approached John. The man was burly, maybe even hurly-burly. He looked similar to Ted Kennedy except that he poured a whole bottle of Just for Men on his head that missed entire sections of grey, he was far hairier, and he looked like Rose Kennedy in the face.
Anyway, the man came up to John and politely asked him what he was doing. John looked right at him and gave him a wet-willy. The man sued John for assault, sexual harrassment, and manslaughter. The jury took no mercy on John, and they punished him to death by public gall bladder spelunking. Never had I seen such a sight as his execution.
posted by Garon @ 1:31 AM
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